I'll guess writer Ron Sullivan's word choice reveals him as a "hipster," a moniker attached to people who, according to Wikipedia, are young, recently-settled urban adults and older teenagers with interests in non-mainstream fashion and culture, particularly alternative music, independent rock, independent film and magazines.
Here's some of Sullivan's hipster terminology and my own translations:
On the other tentacle - on the other hand
Gimcrack - gimmick
Wonks - experts
Gooses - disrupts
The article suggests Sullivan attended one of UC Berkeley plant pathologist Matteo Garbelleto's SOD workshops. Sullivan explains two SOD treatments - injecting Agri-fos into tree cambium and mixing finely-ground dry commercial compost into soil around plants (like California bay laurel) that harbor the organism that causes SOD.
Sullivan concludes that Garbelotto’s hands-on demo is the easiest way to learn these techniques and he provides the particulars for upcoming workshops:
1–3 p.m. Nov. 4, and 1-3 p.m. Dec. 9 at UC Berkeley. For more details, click here.

Symptoms of sudden oak death syndrome include weeping bark and frass from bark beetles.
"It is a completely baffling thing and it is very frustrating," the story quoted UC Cooperative Extension forestry advisor Yana Valachovic.
The pathogen was found in waterways even after all runoff was halted, infected material was removed and the surrounding area was fumigated, the article said.
Even more mystifying, two Humboldt County streams tested positive for spores matched genetically to a nursery that is at least a mile away with no hydrological connection and no way for runoff to reach the stream.
"There is some connection that I don't understand," Valachovic was quoted. "The genetics match with the nursery, so it appears that it originated in that nursery. How it got to the stream is undetermined."
Catherine Eyre, a UC Berkeley post-doctoral researcher, said spore contamination was found in the water in at least half of the 14 sites tested this year in and around the Crystal Springs Reservoir, which supplies drinking water to millions of people in Bay Area. The spores pose no health risk to humans, but scientists are tracking it to halt its spread around the state.
"We're looking at how far the pathogen can travel and how long it can survive," Eyre was quoted.

Crystal Springs Reservoir (Photo by K. Glavin)
A group of sixth-grade students didn't stop at hugging a beloved tree at Mt. Madonna County Park, they came equipped to administer life-saving treatment, according to a story in yesterday's Santa Cruz Sentinel. The Mt. Madonna School students are aiming to protect a tanoak believed to be among the largest in California from Sudden Oak Death.
The children were led by their teacher, James Rohan, who attended a UC Berkeley training session with foresters and nursery owners to learn how to treat at-risk trees. According to the Sentinel story, the students drilled 20 small holes around the tree's trunk, injected them with Agri-Fos and plugged the holes with clay.
Agri-Fos is the only proven remedy for SOD, researchers say. It works by boosting a tree's natural defenses. It is not a cure, but it can help protect trees from getting infected and suppress disease progression in very early infections.
Reporter Roger Sideman spoke to UC Davis forest pathologist David Rizzo about the Agri-Fos treatment. Rizzo said that, at a cost of $200 per tree, Agri-Fos is not practical for saving an entire forest, but the treatment's cost seems more reasonable to homeowners who risk property damage and the expense of removal if a large tree dies.
Rizzo tells homeowners that their trees are at particular risk if they are positioned near rhododendrons or bay laurel trees, both carriers of the pathogen that causes sudden oak death, the story said.

A tree being injected with Agri-Fos.
The continuing efforts of UC scientists to battle Sudden Oak Death were featured today on Quest, KQED's radio program about Northern California science and environment.
The story opens with UC Davis plant pathologist David Rizzo describing why the term "Sudden Oak Death" is a misnomer.
The disease, he said, "is not particularly sudden, it doesn’t just infect oaks and it doesn’t result in death of all plants."
The six-minute radio story includes interviews with Matteo Garbelotto, an extension specialist in forest pathology at UC Berkeley. He told reporter David Garn that bay laurel trees are harboring the pathogen in oak woodlands.
Two Half Moon Bay Review reporters featured ANR experts in unrelated news stories on the same day this week. Mark Noack opened his article about growing public acceptance of "recycled" water with an anecdote from UC Cooperative Extension farm advisor Paul Vossen.
Vossen told the reporter that, years ago, participants on a research plot tour willingly munched on fresh vegetables that had been irrigated with treated sewage water.
“Our conclusion at the end of our survey was that 95 percent of people have no problem with using recycled water,” Vossen was quoted. “There was only one really concerned person out of all the people we interviewed — ‘Oh my gosh!’ he said. ‘You can’t use this water! You’ll poison everybody!’”
Reporter Greg Thomas talked with UC Berkeley forestry pathologist Matteo Garbelotto for a Sudden Oak Death overview. The story contained information about the disease's introduction and spread, and concluded with a ray of hope for its eventual control.
Thomas wrote that Garbelotto has discovered a handful of tanoaks unaffected by the disease. Acorns from those trees were collected and are being studied at UC Berkeley.
